Monthly Update

It is SO hard to believe that it's AUGUST 31!!  What happened to June and July?  What happened to 2012??  Time sure flies when you're having fun, as they say.  (Which seems really unfair, by the way.  Time ought to fly when life sucks...)

I realized that my 50th birthday post (was that a month ago?  Seriously??) didn't include any updates as far as progress and such were concerned, and I am sure that all five of you who read this regularly really missed those important stats.  So here they are for August:

• Weight as of January 1, 2013 -  226 pounds
• Weight as of August 31, 2014 - 191 pounds
• Net loss - 35 pounds
• Bike miles for August - about 275, including a couple MTB runs and one commute to work (the commute went unrecorded mileage-wise, but was around 15 miles)
• Bike miles for 2014 to date - 1664, which is only about 300 behind all of last year, which is pretty remarkable considering June and July - June was 38 and July was 138 due to my injury and recovery

I keep hovering around the 190 mark; sometimes as low as 188, occasionally up to 193.  I am happy with things right now, but definitely feel as if there's a long way to go.  In reality I would like to lose 20-30 more pounds.  My mid-section is still not where it needs to be.  The shirt stays on for a while longer, but it's definitely fitting better!!

In the coming weeks you should be able to read about my return to "the hill," which was actually planned for today but got canceled.  I've also lined up another student for you to read about - longboarding this time.  Hoping to line up a certain pro cyclist as well...

That's about it.  Unless you count that in two days I start my 28th year of teaching ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???  and that I have two kids in college since we last talked.  It's all just a blur.  It's been fun, though.  Wish I could remember most of it...

Seriously, 1200 Pounds??

OK, I see how it is.  I can write about how it feels as I reach a milestone age and it gets maybe 50 views.  But when I write about a really awesome kid doing fun stuff, it gets about 200.  I get it.  That's fine.  From a marketing standpoint I need to pay attention to the wants of my customers, so if you really want to read about people that you think are more interesting than I am, well, I guess I have to oblige...

A couple weeks ago you got to meet Evan.  Evan weighs maybe 130 pounds after a heavy meal and is quite physically fit.  Today I'd like to introduce you to an athlete who weighs, well, a bit more.  Annie is strong and extremely fit and weighs about 1200 pounds.  Hard to believe, I know.  A 1200-pound fit athlete?  Yep.  Of course Annie is a horse, so that's a pretty healthy weight.

 Annie is part of a team - her partner is Dani (who weighs less...), another of my really awesome students, and recently I got to see the team in action at the Richland Park Horse Trials, a huge equestrian event near Kalamazoo.  I went to see them last year as well, getting to see the Dressage competition (very cool, but, well, not terribly exciting), so this year I attended on "Stadium" day, and got to see them in the stadium jumping over things.

Wow.  What I saw between the stadium where Dani and Annie competed and the cross country course (where they competed the next day -I got to watch other riders) completely amazed me.  Horse and rider act as one.  Lots of things for the horse to go over, around, through (sometimes over and through at the same time), and all the while the clock is ticking and judges are observing.  Nerve-wracking for the audience, especially if your kid is on said 1200-pound animal (ask her mom), which on the XC course can travel at speeds up to 25+ mph.  But the pressure on the rider?  I'll let you in on some of the things that Dani and her folks taught me.

First, though, let me ask this: when was the last time the piece of exercise equipment you were using had a mind of its own?  I'm not talking about how this bike has a different steering feel than that one, or your tennis racket is strung differently or you don't have your carbon fiber golf club so you can't hit as long.  I am talking about an actual breathing, thinking, reacting very large animal, maybe something that can squash you like a bug.  Yeah, I didn't think so.  

See, in the unlikely event that I go over some kind of obstacle/jump on the mountain bike, for instance (I was getting bolder before the crash...), I know how to sit the back of the bike down, I have control of the handlebars, and I theoretically know exactly how the inanimate piece of metal and rubber under my butt is going to react.  Now imagine the same idea of a jump or going off a ledge, only you're about five feet in the air in your seat (when your seat is on the ground), and the equipment under your butt is a half-ton being who maybe doesn't really feel like doing that jump right now, or gets a little spooked by the crowd, or for some other reason just decides it's not the right time for her to do what you want.  Oh, and you're holding two relatively thin strips of leather which don't really brace you against anything or allow you to physically steer in mid-air.  Now you're getting the idea...

As we wandered around the various events I noticed something that I thought was pretty significant.  As I watched the riders go past, I came to the realization that there weren't any, well, fat people there.  Now this may be due to some factor that I am unaware of, but I'm pretty sure it's mostly due indeed to the level of fitness and endurance required even though the horse is "doing all the work."

Hydrating before the stadium event.

Dani's father, Dave, was explaining some of the training he has helped set her up with.  It includes some core exercises along with stretching and some fitness/weight training.  She's also doing things like jumping jacks, squats, and pushups as well as riding at least six days a week.  

 Dani explained the level of strength to me this way: "back and core muscles are a huge part for sure, along with all of the hip muscles - flexors (the ones in front) and stabilizers (on the sides) especially.  Quads play a bigger part when I'm in the jumping saddle (there's a jumping saddle?  I didn't ask that...), because my knees are bent further.  Hips and core are more important for dressage, but still important all the time.The arms should technically only have to hold themselves and the reins, which doesn't amount to much weight.  However if the horse gets 'strong' (puts more weight on the bit and therefore the reins), the rider has to be strong enough to keep herself in position while correcting the horse.  As far as the most fatigued muscles, it depends on what I've done that day.  Sitting trot will make the core tired, jumping makes the quads and calves tired, and galloping can be hard on the back.  Overall, it's a lot of fine motor control and stabilization."  Wow.  She must be pretty tough!

Dani also keeps fit by eating well.  She and the family are on a mostly gluten-free diet due to dad having Celiac disease, and she has learned much about a healthy human diet from that.  So, while the healthy lifestyle isn't totally because of her riding and training, she tells me she can definitely feel it when she isn't eating as well as she usually does.  (Somewhere in an earlier post I talked about this very thing - I am the same way as far as gluten is concerned.  It was a very interesting post; you should search for it.)

I'm standing here as a size reference (for height...)

On stadium day Dani was seated 7th in her class after Friday's dressage competition.  In that, as in golf, lower numbers are better, and she scored a 37.3 for the day.  In the stadium event, riders must complete the course, which includes a number of jumps in a circuit, within a certain time period.  During your event, should your horse knock down a rail or otherwise "miss" a jump (this can include a "refusal," which is just like it sounds), penalty points are added to your score.  There is also the clock for these events.  Each level of competition has a time limit for Stadium and XC.  Your score over the three events is combined, and basically the lowest score wins.

Dani and Annie finished their Stadium event with no penalty points and under the required time, so they earned a "Double Clear" and therefore held the 37.5 score.  And moved up to 4th place!  As I write the first draft of this, they are competing in the Cross Country event.  Here is the video of their Stadium performance (in two parts due to size restrictions...)

 I also learned about the preparations for these events.  As we watched the Cross Country event I saw several riders, all with their numbers strapped to their vests, walking along the course.  Most were pushing those little meter-wheel things, and occasionally would stop to write in a little notebook or look around.  They were doing a "walk through," in which the rider is allowed to literally walk through the course, measuring and marking time and distance, even planning out the number of steps their horse will take between things.  

Each class has a different time rate to average; for each minute Dani's classification must travel 470 meters over the 2550-meter course, for an optimum time of 5:26.  So the riders will take their measuring devices and mark off that much distance, and then make a mental or physical note of where they are on the course.  Dani and other riders wear watches with timers set for each minute.  When the watch beeps, they know where they should be on the course based on their walk-through.  (The horse, however, is running it for the first time, and therein lies a big part of the challenge.  Dani's mom told me of the time a couple years ago when Annie was spooked by an obstacle.  The jump was actually in the shape of a horse that was lying down, complete with eyes, etc.  Annie balked and wouldn't jump.)

But since some of the XC course is jumping and some is riding as fast as you can to the next part of the course, and the meters per minute are averaged, a rider needs to know when/where she needs to go faster to make up for the obstacle section, where she will be slower.  The XC course is about two miles in length at Richland Park, though the distance and obstacles differ from class to class; lower-level riders get shorter courses and easier and fewer obstacles.  Here is a very brief look at one of the Cross Country obstacles.  The horse and rider approach from the left, jump over a fence-like structure, land lower than when they started, climb out of the ditch, and immediately jump over the next fence.

Last year...

As you can see, this particular rider (horse...) missed the jump as his mount went between the obstacles instead of over one.  So he turned around and went back and did the sequence again, which cost him penalty points.  When there is a break in the action, course officials zip by on golf carts to grab the penalty sheets from the judges that were right nearby, and the scores are tallied and totaled for the day's final result.

This year...  Minus about 20 pounds (me, not the girls!)

Speaking of the final result, Dani updated me on hers: she ended up with a second "double clear" in the Cross Country event, so she ended up adding zero points to her Friday score (that's the goal, remember), and ended up in THIRD PLACE in her class!  Great work!

Dani has done four events this year, and plans to do two more, which fits in her season average of between five and eight shows per year.  I am really excited to have seen this a couple of times, and learned a LOT.  Thanks, Dani!!

**2015 Update:**
Dani has a new horse named Dash, and yesterday I got to see them run the cross country portion of the event.  WOW.  That is all I can say.  Remarkable athleticism from horse and rider.  (Dash is very cool as well, though yesterday he was very focused and intense and wasn't as cute and cuddly as Annie always was to me.  Friendly horse, but you can definitely see the difference in personalities!)

New Jersey

No, not like New Jersey; rather new jersey...  From my sister, Brenda.  As a recreational cyclist with an employee discount at the bike shop, you may have guessed that I have a fair number of jerseys, and you would be correct.  You might also guess that, since it was my birthday, my middle sibling thought it would be a great idea to buy me a new jersey, and that would also be correct.

What you might not know, however, is the story behind the jersey (is that enough italics for a while? I thought so...).

As anyone can plainly see from this photo, the jersey in question is emblazoned with a silhouette of the US capitol building and "Washington DC" in lovely bold block lettering across the top, all done in patriotic red, white, and blue.  Looks GREAT.  I love it.

You might also notice that my sister, the giver of this gift and pictured with me, is quite obviously significantly older than I am (sorry for more italics...).  And therein lies the story.

Fifty years ago or so, as the summer of 1964 approached, my parents, "Doc" and Helen Walker, were planning to take their happy young family of six on a vacation road trip to Washington, DC to see our nation's capitol and all of the memorials and sites and excitement that it entails.  (Excitement, indeed...  A road trip ANYWHERE with Doc was an adventure in patience, since he didn't believe in starting said trips any time after 4 a.m. and never stopped to eat, which meant we didn't have to stop to pee, either.  Oh, the memories of driving my eldest sister to college in Minnesota...)  So the plan was for Mom, Dad, and the four Walker children (Pam, Kevin, Brenda, and Marcia) to go and see democracy in action that fateful summer fifty years gone.

Around about probably February or March, my parents gathered their happy clan for a family meeting.  These meetings were very infrequent, since Doc's rule was usually law, so any time there was a family meeting it was serious stuff.  Let me set the scene for you:

The four children gathered on the floor, looking up at their parents, no doubt expecting to hear about some of the wonderful excursions and sightseeing they would be doing in a few short months.  Mom and Dad, beaming proudly at their adoring offspring, smiling beatifically down from their perches on the couch.  Mom got the ball rolling.

"Well, kids, we have a question for you.  Would you rather fo to Washington this summer, or have a new baby brother or sister?"

"OOoooh, a new baby."  "Yes, awesome, a new baby would be great," and other such excited babble greeted them from their children.

All but one.

"Ummm, no, I want to go to Washington."  Brenda, ever one to have a plan, make a plan, and STICK TO IT, was firmly entrenched with the idea of a family trip to DC.  She was eight years old and was totally looking forward to it.  (And hey, she already had three siblings, so it's not like anyone was lonely.)

I'm still not sure exactly how the folks broke the news that it really wasn't a choice or a vote, and that indeed the great Washington Trip of the Summer of 1964 was indeed going to be canceled, but there it was.  Brenda did NOT get to go to see democracy in action, the Lincoln Memorial, or any other such national treasures that were in store for her.  Because of me :)

The story continues, however, because not only did she not get to go to DC, I also made her the middle child.  I am frequently reminded of both of these things.  "I could have gone to Washington," she sighed, exasperated, when I sent her a birthday card every day for a week the year she turned 30.  (I assure you that many were very creative and humorous.)  At some point she figured out the middle child thing, and all of her myriad psychological issues have since been placed on my shoulders as well.

Want to know the funniest thing, though?  I've actually been to DC three times.  Yep.  Took the ZHS Marching Band there for the National Independence Day Parade and the National Memorial Day Parade.  The latter, in 2009, saw me at my best: I purchased, well, let's say "several" DC postcards and passed them out to the band kids.  I instructed them to write Brenda a nice note so that she would be able to somehow take part in the joy and excitement that we were all a part of.  The over 100 post cards all arrived at about the same time at the Holland mailbox, and brother-in-law Mark had a bit of a time getting them all in his hands to carry up to the house.  

So now Brenda has plenty of pictures and notes about what it's like in the capitol of the free world, and I'm sure she enjoyed reading every last one of those cards.  After all, her little brother is very thoughtful!!

So the choice between a trip or a sibling was settled, I came along and made the family so much more exciting and fun, and Brenda will probably some day get to DC.  I hope.  Once in a while I do feel a little bad about it...

Love you, big sister!!!  XOXOXO

Meet Evan

In my quest to keep my vast readership entertained I have enjoyed working with other people to bring you the very best stories.  You got to read about rock climbing, various group ride adventures, and the success of one student on his journey to health in addition to pretty regular updates about yours truly.

Well, I have found another subject so you don't have to read about me all the time.  This young man is an incredible musician in addition to being a great academic student.  He is a percussionist in the band and plays guitar and piano in the jazz band.  He does all manner of unique exercise, and - probably most unusual for a 16-year-old - he avoids junk food, fast food, and in general maintains a healthy diet.

Evan relaxing on the slackline as we chat about different things he's working on.

 Evan will tell you that his exercise isn't even exercise; he just has fun.  From slacklining to unicycling to hacky sack ("they're really called 'footbags' now..."), he is pretty constantly active and enjoys the outdoors.  Evan's dad Paul is a frequent riding partner of mine, and he and I have talked about kids and exercise and all of that stuff.  Paul teaches elementary school (as does Evan's mom, Lauri), and physical activity for kids is on their list of priorities.  So, based on my observations of kids and their habits the past few decades, I asked if they'd all be willing for me to use Evan as a subject of this post.  I wanted people to see how easy it is to not only stay in shape, but sometimes do it just because it's fun.

"You must use a lot of core doing that," I asked as I watched him slide deftly across his 80-foot slackline.  

"I guess?  I don't know, I don't really think about it much."  This seemed to be a recurring theme throughout the afternoon, and I think it's important:  Evan isn't doing these things for "exercise;" he's doing them because they're fun.  The fact that he is indeed building a very strong core, physical coordination, and all of that stuff is a benefit that he's not even thinking about.  When was the last time you did something like that?

The trunk gets wrapped with a towel
to protect tree and slackline.

So what is slacklining?  It's very cool.  It's the same concept as a tightrope, only, well, it's not tight; there's plenty of spring to it.  It's a long nylon line that is strung between two trees or posts, and the activities range from simply walking across it to tricks that are similar to trampoline and gymnastics.  There are slackline competitions and tournaments, as well as plenty of links on the interweb on what kinds of tricks can be done and how to do them.  Evan is working on a few, including one in which you spring from a seated/kneeling position into a standing one.

Checking the tension.  It can be
adjusted for various applications
and/or skill levels.

I know you are dying to know if I tried it.  Yep.  Popped right up there, zipped down and back, and...  riiighht...  I did actually manage, with the assistance of Evan's shoulder and a well-placed PVC pipe as a crutch, to stand on the line for several seconds.  Fortunately my common sense prevailed, and I got right back down - I could feel that my shoulder would strain far too much if I continued holding on to the pipe.  And if I didn't continue to hold it, the potential resulting fall could be devastating as well!  So I got down.

Foot alignment is pretty important - "it seems like
you would want to keep your feet sideways, but
that causes the line to rock back and forth.  You
have to line your feet up with the line."

But here you have an exercise that combines balance, core strength, and a strong mental challenge in addition to allowing all levels of skill to participate.  Sounds like the complete package.  I told Evan that come next spring, when I am definitely completely healed (my PT is more concerned about tendons and muscles than the broken bones), I am learning to slackline!

BUT...  Do I learn to slackline before I learn to...  UNICYCLE??  That's a good question.  Because, as you all know by now, I am certainly good at pedaling things.  Well, with maybe the one notable exception.  And the physics and fun look of the unicycle have intrigued me since I was a youngster and one of the neighbor kids had one.  Can't even really imagine how they work!  How do

Starting with the pedal at the back of
the wheel is the first huge difference
between riding one and two wheels.

you balance on one wheel?  How do you not simply fall on your face (or your Fat@$$) when you start pedaling?  Evan set out to show me how.

"It's probably easiest, when you start, to just sit by something and hang on and just rock back and forth for an hour and it makes the rest much easier."  Sounds like a plan.  We'll start there.

I have to admit that it gets at least mildly frustrating to watch people do something seemingly without effort.  Evan grabbed the unicycle, slid the pedal to the bottom rear of the wheel, stepped up and took off.  I watched with the same fascination I had when I was a kid, still wondering just exactly how this all works.  Forward, backward, quick pauses, all relatively smooth and easy.  Surely anyone can do this...

Forward

Backward...

We headed out to the street where it was level (did I mention that all of the above started on Evan's inclined driveway?).  Again with the PVC pipe, but this time with the assistance of a nearby mailbox, I made several valiant attempts to successfully mount the unicycle.  Actually almost had it once for about two seconds.  After that attempt common sense again prevailed and I wisely decided to postpone any serious learning until later.  (I wonder how long I will be able to use this as an excuse???  But seriously, a fall - or more likely my attempt to stop a fall with my hands and arms - would be disastrous at this point.)  For your entertainment and instruction, here's Evan doing it:

So what motivated all of this?  Simple:  "I saw someone doing it and thought, 'hey, I want to do that,' so I bought what I needed and did it."  It doesn't get much more straightforward than that, I guess.  And the slackline and the unicycle have been joined by several footbags that he and most of the drumline enjoy playing with.  As a matter of fact, Evan and the other section leaders introduced the incoming freshmen to a round of hacky sack on the first day of band camp last week.  (Yeah, I'm not very good at that, either, but at least there's not a lot of danger that I'll re-injure myself.)

More unusual than any of his athletic/leisure pursuits (Evan also tried several sports as a youngster, ranging from Lacrosse to soccer) is the fact that he's probably the only teenager I know with healthy eating habits.  This stems in part from good parenting, but also a lot from seventh grade science class, where Evan got to see Super Size Me: he reports being at least moderately traumatized from the experience and has basically sworn off fast food.  On the day of our interview we grabbed lunch at Jimmy John's, and he says that's about as close as it gets to junk for him.  

Evan is also careful when snacking, which is how this conversation started last year.  Between marching band, jazz band, and pit orchestra, there have been long stretches of time for us to be at school together at rehearsals and performances.  While other kids run to fast food joints or Family Fare for the latest in GMOs, trans fats, and high fructose corn syrup, Evan usually has some gluten-free crackers, veggies, and fruit.  (Honestly, the first time I noticed this I assumed he'd helped himself to some of my almond crackers, because who else eats those??  I thought it was just me and/or my wife.)

How does he manage this while surrounded by peers (and occasionally teachers...) who seem to snack on anything but good stuff?  It's just what he's used to.  The serious junk food doesn't interest him because it's never really been a big deal.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and credit Lauri and Paul for this, or at least for getting it started.  (In a similar vein, Nathan and Erin had very specific tastes for take-out pizza by the time they were five.)

So there you have it.  Good habits started at an early age, a good support system, and a kid who simply enjoys being outside. All wrapped up in a pretty cool individual who is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.  Thanks for sharing, Evan :)

The family garage, where all the equipment is.  Unicycle, bicycles, golf clubs, and a really cool little purple scooter thing that is self-propelled similar to a rip stick (the one that looks like a toddler toy - it's not one).  There's also plenty of winter stuff available!

A Fat@$$ Looks at 50

First of all, you should know that I stole the title of this post from Jimmy Buffett.  He first wrote "A Pirate Looks at 40" for (depending on which internet site you visit) a bartender friend/acquaintance/legend at a watering hole in Key West.  The song speaks of things not done, maybe life's regrets, and maybe chances not taken.  Buffett followed up on this with his autobiography, A Pirate Looks at 50, in 1998, when he was actually turning the magical age that stares me in the face at this time.  So I thought I'd steal a little, because I love Jimmy Buffett...  So listen while you read:



 I have conversations with people about birthdays and age quite a bit.  Teaching high school means that I get to see kids hit some milestone birthdays - usually 16 (driver's license) and 18 (voting, cigarettes, lottery tickets, and a host of other "adult" privileges that suddenly become legally available to them).  I've talked with former students and my own kids, usually at birthday celebrations, that there are also lots of "pointless" birthdays, and that once you get beyond 21 everything is pretty much just people making fun of you because you're old.  (Seriously - 19 and 20 are pretty unremarkable, right?  You can already vote, you can buy and do several new legal adult things, but you can't legally buy alcohol, for instance.  And 22?  23?  Who cares?  But let a guy hit 30, for goodness' sake, and people start bringing canes, black balloons, and "Over the Hill"-themed cakes with black frosting to the party...)  And 30 is now 20 years behind me at this point.

So how do I feel about turning 50?  I have no idea.  Mostly because I've never been 50, and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.  Let's take an inventory of "feelings:"

• I'm in the best physical shape of my adult life.  I weighed less in 1995 but was not as physically active, etc.  So that's out - I don't feel "physically" old.
• I am in a place of security and stability in my life.  Two great kids in fine universities, a stable job I've held for 22+ years (27+ if you count the beginning of my teaching career; 30-something if you count that I decided what I was going to be when I grew up sometime around age 15-16), a house in a great community, etc., etc.  So that gives me many years of great experience and maybe even some wisdom, but it doesn't make me "old."
• I have been married to quite possibly the only person in the world who could put up with me for this long.  Just passed the 24-year mark with Dana, as a matter of fact.  And we started dating in 1986/87, so we've both known each other longer than half our lives...  I'd honestly hate being "young" and going through all the dating and other nonsense right now, so although 28 years together is a long time, that doesn't make me "old," either.
• I have great friends of ALL ages.  Some of them keep me "young", for sure - in just the last year I have tried longboarding for several yards at a time, mountain bike and road bike rides with folks of a different "generation" than mine, and conversations and experiences that make me laugh and enjoy my time with the 15 - 30-ish age group.
• I'M THE YOUNGEST KID IN MY FAMILY.  ALL of my siblings will always be older than I am!  (Sorry.  Couldn't resist that one...)   

Now I'd be leaving out some things if I didn't at least mention some "old guy"stuff...

• Bifocals happened since I turned 40 or so.  Those really suck.  It's an age thing, too - very few people need bifocals before age 40, and pretty much everyone's eyes weaken with age.
• I have some profound hearing loss due to my job, which has resulted in me having to use hearing aids the last year.  It officially has nothing to do with age at this point, but you just don't see a lot of hip young guys wearing them, ya know?
• I lost my hair so long ago I don't even remember it, really, so I guess this one could go in either list.  I certainly don't miss having it; if it's not there I don't have to take care of it or spend money on it. 
• OK, this has to be mentioned...  Maybe you saw Bill Cosby's "49" comedy presentation several years ago.  Hilarious.  And the part where he talks about ear hair?  Holy cow, it's funny because it's TRUE.  What the heck is it about the aging process that causes ears, nose, eyebrows, and other random parts of your body to suddenly sprout wild, uncontrollable hairs???  Seriously, a few times a year I'll get this rogue filament growing out of the side of my left ear.  Stands there all nice and proud, saluting the world as it makes me look ridiculous.  "Woo-hoo, I made it!  Nothing is supposed to grow here, but I've defied the odds.  Hello, world!!"  Damn things...  I still remember the first one.  Anyway...
• I'm nearly down to my wedding day weight, but I'm pretty sure I looked better then - the weight seems to cling to different places with each passing decade!  Working on getting rid of the side fat right now.  Where the heck did side fat come from?  Man boobs?  Don't get me started...
• Things do seem to fail faster and heal slower at this age - tendinitis, for instance, which was never an issue when I was younger.
• I'VE RECEIVED TWO MAILINGS FROM AARP.  Enough said.  (OK, except for this - who can retire at 50??   More on that later.)

"Does turning 50 bother you?"  No more than any other age, I suppose, though this number seems to have more significance for some reason.  But again, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, act, or whatever.  So I'm still doing it the way I always have.

OK, let's talk retirement.  The AARP has indeed sent me two separate mailings about joining their organization, and I probably will.  But I will say that the only reason I would retire at 50 is so I could still do lots of fun and cool stuff.  I would LOVE to have more time to ride, more time to hang with friends, more time to be as lazy as I want to be.  Too bad that whole eating and paying the electric bill thing is so important...  So I can't retire, but why would I?

What else do people think about when they're 50?  Apparently that they'd like to stay being 50.  In a recent non-scientific telephone survey from NBC's Today show, a majority of respondents said that 50 - yes, 50 - is the best age.  Apparently we're still young enough to do cool stuff, but old enough to know better kind of thing.  You can read it for yourself if you want to.  This probably indicates why so many men my age finally buy themselves a Corvette: they're old enough to afford it and still young enough to enjoy it for many years.  (And they don't have to share it with their kids...)

Ever since I turned 42, though, I've thought a lot about things from a strange perspective: my dad was 42 when I was born, so I frequently wonder what it would be like at my age to have a kid right now.  And honestly, I don't know how he did it.  I'm not a huge fan of little kids (my own were OK...), and having a 7-8 year-old right now?  Can't even imagine.  Yet I have two HS classmates who were recently blessed with children and are loving every minute of it, as I am sure I would.  I just can't get my mind around it at this time!

Speaking of kids, I have a bunch in my life that make it awesome.  Nathan and Erin, my two biological ones, get time here first, because there have probably been too many times that other kids ended up with priority somehow.  Nathan is an amazing musician, and he and I have gotten to work together at the bike shop this summer.  He has even joined Dana and me in a quest for a healthier lifestyle: a 28-day detox with me to start the summer, and a 30-day cleanse beginning the day after that.  He's lost 15 pounds and lowered his blood pressure (which was unusually high for his age and weight class).  

Erin and I are cut from the same cloth, as the saying goes.  If you appreciate my cynicism and sardonic ways, then you will love Erin.  She can rant with the best of us, and blames me for teaching her.  "I learned from the best!" she will say as she finishes a tirade...  She also did a detox with the family last winter, and has adopted a vegetarian diet; she's not quite willing to give up some of the things that vegan requires.  We are just glad she's healthy and aware of what goes into her body.

Other kids?  Wow...  I'm around teenagers almost every single day of my life.  It's hard keeping up sometimes, mostly with what the current language and expressions are, but also with the energy level.  THAT has changed in the recent past, though, with the caffeine-free old guy able to match them stride-for-stride and then some as they work through their over-tired days (a future post needs to deal more with kids' eating habits and how I am beginning to believe that there is a solid connection between diet and ADHD and other teen maladies).

But kids are great.  I've written about a few - Jared, Daylin, Jalen - who have inspired or pushed me (or driven me to the hospital...), but there is not enough room or time here to write about all of them.  The ones who text and ask how I'm feeling after my crash; the ones who constantly give me grief, smiling the whole time as they poke at my idiosyncrasies; the ones who still stop by well into their 20s or even 30s; the ones who trust me enough to help them through their latest life-changing issue.  I am blessed to know them and be a part of their lives and have them in mine.  A couple years ago the saxophone section gave me the "World's Best Dad" award.  How cool is that?  And this year I get to spend several hours of my actual birthday with about 25 of them: the section leaders and DMs in the band have leadership "camp" this week, and the last day is my birthday.  Honestly, I can't think of a much better group to spend my day with.

So there it is.  50?  Old?  Feelings?  If any of the above make me old, then I guess I am.  How do I feel about it?  I FEEL GREAT.

I Promised to Never Do This...

I grew up in the 70's, basically; the era when people first, I believe, became serious about quitting smoking.  My mom quit, an ex-brother-in-law, my brother, sister Pam, and lots of other adults in my life at that time.  And during that time and the ensuing few years, I noticed a trend among the quitters: they became annoying as hell.  Every time they saw someone smoking they'd talk about how amazing they were feeling because they had quit, then they'd proceed to basically tell everyone within earshot that the health benefits of quitting were second to none, and that all the people in the world were stupid for smoking.  (Which is all true.  But boy, was it annoying.)

So I promised myself, based on that idea, to not ever be that way about stuff.  I don't know your circumstances.  Why would I presume to tell you how to live your life?  So yeah...  I'm breaking that promise for this one occasion...

If you'll recall this post from February you'll remember I had the best annual physical of my life.  The doc wanted to follow up in about six months, which was yesterday.  And things were even better.  I've lost ten more pounds since then.  I have maintained my healthy lifestyle.  I have been taken off my blood pressure medication.  Please re-read that last sentence.

My father died at age 71 due to complications from heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.  Pretty much ALL of which are preventable adult-onset diseases.  About 20 years ago, just before he died, my family doctor was a little concerned about my BP.  So we talked about diet and exercise, and I cut down on salt and caffeine and things went well.  For about the next fifteen years or so my BP was OK, but never "low."  It was basically just under control, until a few years ago, when I started getting regular readings in the 130/90 to 150/100 range.  Once I even got turned away from giving blood because it was too high!  My internist said then that since high BP has a genetic component, at my age there wasn't much to be done and he put me on a low dose of meds.  And it remained a good thing until about a week ago, when I started feeling dizzy upon standing up, especially after kneeling or bending.  One morning, according to the home BP monitor, my pressure was 95/66.  "PADDLES!"  "CLEAR!"  (I know, that's a heart thing, but still, I was pretty sure I was dead.)  So, knowing I had an appointment this week, I didn't take my medicine for a few days.  And yesterday, in the middle of the day, unmedicated, taken by a pro, my BP was 112/78.  Wow.  So I thought about writing this.

And here is what I would like to say.  And please forgive the rant to which you are about to be exposed; I know you're not used to hearing me rant.  But someone has to say it, I think:

 

No, really.  STOP .  Stop eating junk.  Stop drinking poisonous chemical soups made from high fructose corn syrup and sugar with added chemical flavors and sugars.  Stop eating things you can't pronounce.  (OK, you can have quinoa.  And kohlrabi is all right, but I still don't know what it is...)  Processed foods are not of this world!!  Lately there's a Speedway commercial in which the participants are happily dancing about, carrying giant jugs of frozen HCFS with artificial flavoring and looking all happy about it.  (A 22-oz Extreme Strawberry Speedy Freeze has an astounding 49 grams of sugar!  That's over four tablespoons, or a quarter cup of sugar.  And that's the 22-oz size.  They're all dancing with the 32s.)

I don't remember the last time I had a Diet Coke.  Has to be last October.  I don't remember the last time I had heartburn, either.  Or diarrhea (sorry...).  Ben and Jerry's must be losing money in the stock market, because it's been almost a year, I think.  (OK, six months.  But still.  And hey, at least B&J doesn't use weird chemicals when they make their ice cream.)  

I see the things kids eat at lunch, and even before I decided to change things it made me want to scream.  One kid brings in three cookies and a Gatorade from the cafeteria virtually every day.  NOT for dessert.  For LUNCH.  Still others supplement their "nutrition" with full-sugar sodas.  And don't get me started on energy drinks.  Those things were one step above illegal when I was in high school, and now the companies sponsor sports teams and stuff.

Want to know what else is healthier around here?  My colon.  (Sorry again...)  But I did have part of it removed a few years ago;  I dare you to Google images of diverticulitis.  Seriously.  It's awful.  And my doctor tells me it used to be reserved for people in their 70s or so, and now he sees guys with it in their late 20s.  He blames processed food.  Apparently your colon needs some exercise, and like playing video tennis, processed food doesn't really cut it.

I know it's difficult.  And I know I will fail on some level myself.  Even yesterday I downed a significant amount of Peanut M&Ms, but my habits are far better than a year ago.  Can you exercise more?  Of course you can.  Can you eat  better?  You know how it goes: if I can do it, you can do it.  Seriously, I have ZERO willpower.  If I can lose almost 40 pounds, anyone can.  It's not rocket science.  It might be food science...  The right kind of fuel makes all the difference.  Trust me, your body will thank you.  Mine has.  So has my doctor.  And Nurse Letty, who's like everyone's mom at the doctor's office.  There's nothing quite like a smile and high praise from Mom, and that's exactly what I got yesterday.  She even talked about the VIP treatment I seem to be getting around there, with the doc himself getting me from the waiting room (full disclosure - we go to the same church, but he's never come to get me before the last two visits).  

Stop complaining about heartburn.  Because it's your body telling you to stop eating what you're eating.  Stop complaining about your "beer gut," (there's officially no such thing, by the way).  I have never had what anyone would call a "flat" stomach, but I will tell you how much flatter and better-feeling it is the last 6-8months.  

See, the thing I managed to figure out (totally on my own, obviously; no one has ever suggested this might actually be the case) is that diet and exercise make a difference.  Together they make a bigger difference.  Who knew??  Wait a second...  EVERYONE knows that.  We just don't do it.

 

I'm a Junk Food Junkie (and vegan is no guarantee...)

I've decided that the self-pity train has basically run its course, so I will try not to subject my vast readership to too many more updates on my broken body issues (like forced left-handedness, potential theological or other issues, or graphic descriptions of my injuries, because it's kind of time to move on), but since I just took the time to link to those posts, you should read them if you haven't yet!  

No, it's time to get back on the original track (see how I did the train reference again?) of this blog - the things I struggle with eating and exercise-wise.  Nathan and I have been working together at the bike shop a lot this summer, and yesterday we went out for breakfast before he started his day.  We ended the day with the family getting Jimmy John's at 9:30 p.m. due to our weird schedule, and this morning he and I are paying the price, so to speak, so I thought of this post that's been knocking around my head for a while.

I'm a fan of convenience foods because, well, because they're just so darn convenient.  And I'm pretty sure that folks my age and maybe a little older were kind of on that cutting edge of prepared, boxed, bottled, frozen, and otherwise "look! you, too, can have it all, and it's so easy" kind of things: breakfast cereals of ALL varieties, chips, candy, pop, etc.  (I know these all existed prior to my knowing about them, but it seems like my generation was the one where they really entered the mainstream.)  My mom actually owned a waffle iron.  I never saw it in use, because we could go buy Eggo waffles for the toaster.  And they were delicious!  (One of my earliest memories of "maybe I have a problem" was one Saturday morning when mom went to work and I was up early.  When my dad woke up and came to check on me in the family room, his first words were, "what the hell are you eating?" as he looked at the potato chips and can of Pepsi next to me on the floor.  Hey, it was Saturday morning cartoon time!!  Come on, Doc!  Give me a break here...  I was about 11, I think.)

Know what, though?  That breakfast was VEGAN.  Yep.  MMmm, Pepsi and chips.  I was vegan before I even knew what the word was!

Here are some other vegan items, in case you were wondering:

 

I know I said "other," but these are my favorite!

Mmmmm...  Breadsticks.  (If they're made with eggs, they're not vegan, but you can easily do French bread without eggs.)

OK, Pop Tarts without frosting suck.  But they're vegan.

EVERYTHING'S better when it sits on a Ritz.

OMG!!!  FRITOS ARE VEGAN?????

I haven't tried these, but am not against the idea :)

So.  "OK, just what the heck is your point?"  Hang on, I'm getting there.  The thing is that pretty much everyone (I learned that statistic in a non-scientific survey entitled "what do you think about the vegan diet" that I pretty much asked myself the question for) figures that the vegan diet is a healthy diet.  I'm here to tell you as a lifelong fan of convenience foods that nothing could be further from the truth.  Like ANY diet, food plan, lifestyle, or whatever you call how you get nutrients into your body, vegans can be subject to the same problems and issues that caused the problem in the first place!

Wait, what?  That sucks.  You mean I have to watch what I eat even if it's free of all of those nasty animal products that cause high cholesterol, increased weight gain, etc.?  Yep.  And sugar?  Dude.  Sugar is vegan!  It's a plant!  Wooohoooo, get my spoon and bring my box of Froot Loops (mhmm - also vegan).  Wow.  This could get ugly again.

BUT...  All is not lost!  I've mentioned that I'm a lifetime member of Weight Watchers, and I learned lots of great things from them.  The first leader I was fortunate to be acquainted with, Nancy Bruins, had several great little sayings to remind us of things.  (My favorite, though it doesn't fit what I'm saying, was "true fact?"  She would ask that when she said something obvious, like "if you eat three elephant ears at the fair, you'll be off your plan for the day. True fact?"  And we'd nod and chuckle.  Nancy passed several years ago, and the world lost a very cool person.)  One of the other things from WW - "if it's icky, be picky!"  Sometimes, when craving something sugary, I'll grab for almost anything.  And sometimes it's not so good!  And yes, sometimes I'll eat it anyway because I want the sweetness.  Icky?  PUT IT DOWN and walk away.  It's not worth it.  (I do understand that the obverse of this is to go find something you do like, like a bag of m&m's, but still...)  

Here's the best one, though, and it works for me most of the time.  I don't know if "red light foods" is a WW term or if Lisa came up with it herself, but it really works.  She talked about levels of food based on health, cravings, points, etc.  For me, the "cravings" category was the strongest.  And she would have us rank them - "green light" foods were things that were in the program, that we could eat without getting out of control, and that were considered healthful.  So veggies, fruits, and many other obvious things went in that category.  Yellow lights were things that we knew could potentially cause trouble but weren't the highest risk.  Red light foods?  Don't even start them.  I have a whole list of red light foods.  There are things I should never even start eating, and I try to keep them out of my house.  Friends of ours have a little candy dish in their kitchen that is always filled with m&m's.  RED LIGHT!  "Oooh, look, m&m's!  And moments later a half-pound bag is gone.  So I try to keep away from them, because I know it will end badly.  How do people keep those in the open, out of the bag, and not just devour them?  Clearly not a red light food in that house.

Now I find out that there are vegan foods that have to be red lighted.  I'm not sure how many others out there can demolish the above-pictured bag of Fritos in a single sitting.  I can.  And I'm not even breathing hard.  Unfrosted Pop Tarts would be a green light food for me, because I'd maybe eat one.  Not a fan in general; take off the frosting and there's no point to the thing at all.

And my journey of discovery and health continues on the path that I've chosen.  The foods you choose, be they vegan, paleo, vegetarian, or omnivore, are up to you.  Any or all of them can cause weight gain or other problems for your body and health, though, so you need to know the potential for anything that you try.  Yesterday's meals for me did include eggs and cheese (call me a non-vegan or whatever you want, I still love the occasional egg and don't plan to give them up), and I even had some sausage in my hash brown omelette.  THAT I can easily give up, but it's still something that I enjoy eating.  

Back on the wagon today!  The best about doing all of this is realizing that 1) I don't feel as good when I don't eat well; 2) I know that I can be satisfied, even full, when I do eat well; 3) because this isn't a "diet" I don't feel like I've cheated per se.  I know I can readjust and get back on track easily (whoa, another train thing, though I used "track" again...).  Maybe #3 is just a different mindset or outlook for me, though.  I mean, I still cheated, but maybe I've decided a more positive thought for what happened.  Those who really know me are wondering if I had to actually look up the word "positive" to check how it's spelled...  (I didn't, by the way - I can be very positive  that something will go wrong, after all.)  

So there you go.  Please forgive the rambling nature of this one, but sometimes I don't really have the time to connect all the dots; you'll have to do that yourself today!  I'm off to do some stuff for the day, like go to school, have a coffee with a friend, and then PT, bike ride, and chiropractor, so the blogging has to be done.  See you soon!  I'll leave you with this, from some point in my past: