It Starts Here

Sooo....

"Maybe if I were to write about this stuff it would be easier.  Or make it worse.  People will be able to read what I'm thinking; that will expose all of my weaknesses!  How will THAT look to my friends, or worse, my students?  What if THEY read it?"

All thoughts running through my head the last week or so as I contemplate my body image, my health and well-being, and my mass.  The first and last of which are my biggest concerns...

I've never been what one would call "thin."  I remember being about 8 years old and getting my first blue jean jacket.  Coolest look EVER, as evidenced by the fact that they still exist some 40 years after I got my first one.  The event was only slightly marred by the saleslady at (what I remember as) Sears:  "Oh, that one's not quite right; let's try one in a huskier size."  "Ooohh, 'husky;' that sounds important," I remember thinking.  Riiiigghhhhht...

Anyway, a few years ago, after being at an all-time low adult weight of 178 in 1996 (earning myself Lifetime Membership to Weight Watchers International), I ballooned to an unreal 230 lbs. by 2003 or so.  Since then, my friend Rick and I have been engaged in a war of the waistlines.  He has lost 60 lbs. since last January and looks great.  I'm officially afraid to weigh myself...  I'll be happy with anything under 220 at this point:)

I'm doing some things well -most of my pants still fit, and I'm exercising somewhat regularly, and I know I'm not back to 230.  But other things are not where they should be - I fell far short of my goals the last two years of bicycling mileage (and believe me, I don't look as good in my spandex as I did two years ago).  The final kicker came last weekend when my son and I were attending a conference in Chicago.  We stayed at the Hyatt Regency, which has a lovely elevator with mirrors on three walls.  The 27th floor provides ample time to look around as you travel up and down.  I could give a pregnant woman a run for her money as far as my middle is concerned.

Which brings me to heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and high blood pressure.  So far only the last of these three genetic, but preventable, conditions has afflicted me.  My father was about my age when he started his downhill slide that eventually ended at age 71 and a quadruple bypass; he never got off the operating table.

I have some pics.  I will probably post some, but be warned: at least one so far is a lovely pose of me in my cycling bibs and no shirt.  Lovely stuff.  I will try to keep the content (except for the title of the blog) G-rated and appropriate for all audiences.  I do have students who might see this, after all.  For now, here's my favorite picture of myself that I have taken in a good many years:

It's from December 9, 2012.  A few short weeks ago.  If you look closely, standing next to the adorable college kid is a guy in his late 40s who knows enough about what to wear (thanks, Stacy and Clinton!!) to know that loose, dark clothing will hide a multitude of sins.  And fries.  And Big Macs.

So, in the next few weeks and months, I will keep you, dear reader, informed as to my struggles with my weight, my body image, and whatever else I think merits attention here.  It won't all be sunshine and unicorns, and I guess that's kind of part of the plan.  (Actually, based on my history, you will be subjected to many stories of failure!  But I digress.)

Commentary is appreciated.  I think.  I even thought about a slogan or something. "50 by 50" came to mind, as I will reach one milestone in about 19 months, and could afford to shed that many pounds.  But that is for another post, lest I use all my ideas at once.

I start soon.  That whole New Year thing, you know?  Again, another day's topic.

Wish me luck?  Pray for me?  Encourage me?  Tell me I'm stupid for doing the blog part?  Whatever you think.  You can subscribe to this if you want.  I think it's as easy as clicking on the "Subscribe" button located somewhere on this page.  Thanks!