Ahh, May, when spring finally springs here in west Michigan, the tulips bloom, the bands march, and the school year winds down. This is usually another one of those months in which I can get plenty of rides done but due to this or that schedule issue I frequently DON'T... This year is shaping up to be another record, or close to one, anyway, as I have done almost 300 miles so far and have also managed to do a long ride each weekend. So far it's been a couple of 50-milers and one of 68; the plan for today is 90-100. I'm hoping it warms up a little! It's in the low 50s right now; 63 in my living room, since we left some windows open last night!
Anyway, I came up with the idea for this particular post about a week ago when I received another compliment on my calves. Yes, you read that correctly. And it was indeed "another" compliment. I was riding with some friends, and Tyson called out from behind me, "hey, Keith, have you been doing squats or something? Your calves are huge!" Some things you just don't get tired of hearing :) (The actual answer to the question lies somewhere between genetics and bicycling, but no, I don't do leg weights.)
And from there I started thinking about compliments, how we receive compliments, and sort of started making a mental list of the ones I've heard.
I remember one of my more "disastrous" trumpet performances from high school, after which an adult came up and told me I did a great job. I demurred, telling him I wasn't happy with how it had gone. My dad (who would be 92 years old today) kind of hit the roof on the way home. "When someone compliments you, there is only one answer: THANK YOU. That person isn't interested in what you thought about it; he was taking the time to give you a compliment and it is your job to accept it graciously and say thank you. Don't make him think he wasted his time coming over to see you." That one stuck with me over the last few decades, and I have tried to follow those strictly-given instructions!
So... THANK YOU for all the compliments as I continue my journey!! I really appreciate them, and the effort it took you to make them, and they really do make me happy. I hope you don't mind if I let you into my brain here for a while as I list a few, as well as some of the thoughts that go with them from inside that brain.
"You look great." Thank you! I can't tell. I see myself every day, and the changes are gradual. As of yesterday I am down about 35 pounds in 17 months. I can tell my clothes fit better, I can see that my face is thinner, etc., but I still don't think I look "great." "Better"? Sure. But as I look in the mirror sometimes all I can see is how far I have to go. (If I'm really honest here, sometimes that makes me wonder how bad I looked before! I try not to go there, though...)
"Hey, there, skinny." Ummm, no one's buying that... Weight loss, yes; "skinny" is probably still 30-40 pounds away. And I don't know how far this will end up going.
"You are looking strong on the bike this year. Not just strong, but like you have good emotions or whatever. You're doing great." This one is very specific and probably the one that meant the most. It came from Brad White, my boss at the shop, who happens to be a professional bicycle racer for the UnitedHealthCare Pro Cycling team. Made it pretty easy to finish that particular ride with a little more spin in my pedals!
"You and I are going to have words, my friend." Ahh, yes. This one just happened last Tuesday after the weekly Tuesday Night Ride from VCC. It came from Tyson, the aforementioned calf complimenter. It came at the end of my first-ever ride with the infamous "Hot" group, the fastest of three groups that make up the TNR. (Three groups allow folks to choose their pace for the night, and make it easy to have a group stay together. I've never dared attempt "Hot.") It was the night of my first-ever 20-mile hour (we were flying...), an 18+ mph average over 33 miles (including the slow rides to and from the shop, etc.), and in general the ride of my life. I made it with that group 22 miles or so, then bailed at a turn I knew would take me back about five miles sooner. I have never been so proud of myself! So at the brewery afterward ("just water for me, thanks") I was expecting high fives, compliments, and general expressions of amazement at my abilities. Nope. "You and I are going to have words." And he was right. I bailed. I could have done it, and I was the only one who doubted. Tyson, Brad, and Alex were all pulling for me, and they were going to be there for me for the duration because that is what we do. Even as I pulled off the back of the group Alex looked at me wide-eyed. "You're turning?" "Yeah, I don't think I can do the rest." So I definitely appreciated the good-natured way they gave me hell about it when they got back. Self-doubt is the worst. Ask a few specific students of mine; they'll tell you how much I tell them to knock that crap off because I know they can do it...
"You're an inspiration." Yeah, no, I'm not. This one is the hardest to deal with. I am hardly inspiring. I am doing what I should have been doing decades ago but was too lazy/self-centered/young (maybe that last one defines the other two) to get it done. Now I am fighting weight, blood pressure issues, and pre-diabetes. I have trouble inspiring myself, so it's crazy to think I am inspiring anyone else. But hey, if it works for you to read my stuff and see what I do and somehow improve your own life in some way due to that, then you are welcome to all the "inspiration" you need!
So there you go. I would try harder to close this post better, but I need to go fuel up for the long ride that starts in an hour. Smoothie time!!!
great comments Keith.
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